We are raising a generation of men programmed by contradiction. Modern masculinity is being shaped by double standards and confusion – and the damage shows.

From a young age, boys are told to “be strong,” but “stop crying,” “Be sensitive,” but “don’t be soft.” Be the “man of the house” at five years old, but never shown what real discipline, structure, or leadership looks like. Society demands accountability from men while often failing to equip them with the tools – or even the examples – to grow into that role.

Add to the hypocrisy within the household. Many families enable the very behavior they’ll later condemn. It’s considered “cute” when a child yells at his mother or throws tantrums to get his way. The little boy who hits or disrespects is often laughed off as “just being a boy.” Parents excuse bullying, selfishness, or dishonesty – especially when it’s their child. They let them cheat at games so they don’t cry, rather than teach them humility and how to handle loss.

But here’s the truth no one wants to admit: those traits don’t disappear. That same child grows up believing they are above correction. And when that kid becomes a teenager – or worse, an adult – they still lie, manipulate, throw fits when corrected, and refuse to take responsibility. They grow up into people who bend the rules to become Trumps – not in politics, but in principle: always right, never wrong, emotionally immature, and morally unchecked.

There’s a strong reality that millions of kids in American schools would be safer if there were more “parenting” versus “friendships” being conducted. But hey, that’s today’s motto – take the easy way out. Be liked. Win the popularity contest with your child instead of instilling a moral compass.

And maybe it’s time we asked the uncomfortable question: Would we still be dealing with so many of society’s issues if more parents were brought up on aiding and abetting charges – instead of being handed public sympathy for the very problems they created and pushed onto the public? The truth is, children who aren’t corrected become adults who can’t be corrected. And everyone else is left to deal with the fallout.

Many boys watch their mothers tear down their fathers – the same fathers they resemble. They hear the mockery of his efforts, his income, his appearance. They watch as revolving doors of men come and go, each bringing a piece of support: one pays the rent, another buys groceries, and a third might offer emotional comfort – temporarily. That young boy is silently learning that manhood isn’t rooted in character. It’s measured in transactions.

So what do they do? They imitate what they’ve seen. They buy the clothes, the car, the chains – trying to earn value through optics. They take dates to overpriced restaurants, book getaways, and cover excursions – all in the name of being “chosen.” But what’s often left is emptiness. Because transactional love doesn’t fulfill it, it drains.

And when the cycle repeats, they find themselves in clubs every weekend, spending big on drinks, complimenting women dressed like Vegas “special workers” only to be surprised when those same women – and those same nights – lead to hollow connections, too often. They try to “change” someone they met in chaos, without realizing: **you can’t plant seeds in concrete and expect a garden to grow.**

Many young men now reject mentorship. Why? Because they’ve seen too many women in their lives disrespect the very men who tried to lead. So they associate “being a man” with being devalued. They reject guidance because they’ve never seen it respected.

We are breaking boys long before they have a chance to become men.

And the results? A growing number of men now choose silence over mentorship and solitude over risk. And honestly, who can blame them? The load has always been on the shoulders of real men. Yet instead of support, they’re often met with criticism, comparison, or contempt.

But here’s a truth we need to normalize: Most men are not the outliers. They’re not sleeping around. They’re not playing games. Many are simply not seen. Why? Because the spotlight still chases the loudest chaos – the so-called “bad boys” who get glorified for all the wrong reasons. It’s the Chad’s and the Tyrone’s that tend to have the multiple children with multiple women and all knowingly having babies number 5, 6, 7 and so one with them because they’re cute of scary fun.

We need to stop punishing good men for not being “wanted” enough. Stop romanticizing toxicity and then complaining about the fallout. Many women say they want a solid man, but avoid the one no one else is chasing. And many men, in return, exhaust themselves trying to fit a mold that’s never been real and expecting good results. No, I’m not allowing men to play victim either. Not that all people are honest when you meet them, but if you were drawn to your partner because there was nothing left to the imagination of her sexuality sorry buddy, she and you are for the streets.

The solution isn’t in shaming either side – it’s in raising the bar. It’s in building standards and sticking to them. It’s in teaching consistency over charm, purpose over popularity. It’s in reminding men: you don’t have to sell yourself to be valuable.

We don’t need a new viral video. We need a moral compass, not a highlight reel. We need to raise boys with roots, not reactions. Most importantly, we need to heal this cycle before we create another generation of broken males trying to fix themselves in silence.

The sad reality

This isn’t just theory – it’s life or death. In the U.S., men represent nearly 80% of all suicides, and their suicide rate remains roughly four times higher than women’s. These aren’t just numbers – they’re the result of generation taught to mask pain and avoid correction, only to suffer in silence.

“I once told a female friend that I was feeling overwhelmed and depressed.” She replied, “Stop being a B!^#h.”

I want to give a little challenge. Listen to two songs by the artist Dax: 1, “To Be A Man“; 2, “A Real Man.” Actually listen to the words and reflect. Available on Apple Music or YouTube and others, you can also see the lyrics.

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