Today’s article will reach each ear a bit differently like all the previous, depending on where you are in your life’s journey. You could be the receiver, the deliverer, or maybe even the third party feeling stuck in between. Regardless of the position, this is fuel to hopefully motivate you to get the most out of the rest of your day, week, and existence.

It’s medically and scientifically proven that 100% of humans are born to be unique. Then life happens, just like adding new ingredients to a dish or a soup. Each item can be a subtle or an extreme adjustment to the foundation that started at birth. Add in a pinch of this with a pinch of that and theirs a recipe to share with those you care about. However, there’s times when external circumstances adjust how you see the very same ingredients. As children, our first instructors are not our school teachers but the people within our household, then our neighborhood, then our cities. Look at how a child reacts to something as natural as falling while learning how to walk or run. When a parent reacts within their bag of fragility, they’re teaching that child, hey, you’re supposed to be in pain so I can respond hysterically with hightend attention to your every move.

How about learning to be consistent? A child doesn’t come out as lazy, or argumentative behavior is learned from watching those around them lacking consistency and allowing children to dictate the norms. This is easy to see when many so called modern “parents” have chosen to use their kids as their best friends to cure loneliness; and or as a living bank account of guilt versus being the actual parent. Children should not “owe” parents anything beyond the efforts to be better with building on the foundation; along with a thank you if said parent(s) set positive examples of how to be a successful and good person. Yet how often do we hear the ignorance, “I brung you into this world…“Keep that same energy because you’re correct; meaning, it’s your responsibility and not the other way around. Eating off your kids’ successes and taking none of the failures. Not to mention using your older kids to raise the younger ones, for you to continue to live as a single person. News flash, your childhood officially ended the moment you chose to play adults and create a child of your own. Some would call these behaviors narcissistic at its finest. News flash, feeding, clothing, and housing are the basics by law, not to be used as a podium for patting oneself on the back. Having children is the consequence of your actions, not the child’s. Nor do I subscribe to the lies of so many bad parents with the “I don’t know where this or that behavior came from.” There would be a lot less pain in the world if families were held as the accomplices they’ve been to the world terrors. As a side note: I do understand that as a parent, you can do so much the right way, yet that beautiful child that shares your name and image can go a completely different way.

I do understand being consistent isn’t enough. For instance, there’s plenty of passive families that refuse to be firm with correcting or mentoring developing minds; therefore, its not hard to see why so many modern day people cling to strangers that post self–serving messages across social media and people following it blindly as if its the gospel. It shouldn’t be our job as adults to raise other adults, yet that seems to be what’s needed in many ways. So often do people go against their very own self–interests just to fit in with the crowd of blind accountability. Due to the gift and the curse of modern-day technology, offering sound advice to many seems like an insult because it may require a little work or a little sacrifice of time, along with effort. It seems too easy to blend in with the non-productive groups of embracing accountability; versus, applying oneself to be a strong individual within a group. This logic has breed an unprecedented amount of modern narcissists that attack anyone who calls them out on their very own actions.

For many who have a problem with receiving communication, they tend to believe each disagreement is an argument or a fight. Similar to those who lack accountability, it often considers every drop of feedback as a personal attack. Then, people with absent or, let’s say, minimum self-awareness will usually see each boundary giving as a betrayal. So many times, peoples very own behaviors reflect their very own struggles in handling/processing their reflection in the mirrors of life. Okay, the reality is 100% of us have a past with different mechanisms to deal with those experiences; and many deserve sympathy, if not empathy, when it comes to them. The thing is, growth is a personal responsibility, which can’t be forced, yes encouraged but not forced. Growth needs to be chosen for lasting results. Please note that I do not advocate for staying in any unhealthy relationships; especially when the other party shows an unwillingness to grow. Simply put, the reality is that too many people can’t or won’t accept the very same treatment they kindly dish out to any bystanders while acting oblivious when the bill or receipt comes around.

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