The Cost of Modern Parenting Failures

There’s a sickness in our society, and it didn’t start in the streets. It started at home – with parenting that failed to meet the full definition of the word. Too many contributors towards today’s societal travesties can be traced back to households where “doing the bare minimum” somehow became synonymous with good parenting. Yes, I’m a person can do it by the numbers and some offspring are going to turn out how they turn out; none-the-less, it doesn’t excuse people when the signs are present early.

Let’s be clear: keeping food in the fridge, clothes on backs, and the lights on and for some a Porsche at 16 isn’t parenting – most is legally required. Yet, we’re surrounded by parents who want applause on Mother’s Day for simply keeping their children alive, not raising them into healthy, balanced humans. News flash: children didn’t volunteer to be here. The parents did that. So why are we treating basic responsibility like heroism?

Let’s begin with the fragility crisis – especially among those in positions of authority. Example, police brutality isn’t new, but the escalation is glaring. Officers who empty full clips into unarmed civilians or kill women in their own kitchens – and their excuse? “I was scared for my life.” A get-out-of-accountability card that only seems to work for the fragile and the privileged.

Where does this fragility begin? In homes where discipline is taboo? Where “time-outs” are the strongest consequence, and any real correction is considered abuse? In households where parents decided parenting was too hard, they became their child’s BFF instead – co-signing poor behavior, partying together. In previous eras the celebration of being a grandparent in your 30s would be considered a sad day in many circles.

Is there a correlation with the addition of the participation trophy? We awarded mediocrity to protect undeveloped feelings, robbing children of the lesson that sometimes you don’t win. That sometimes you’re not good enough – and that’s okay because failure builds character and perseverance. Instead, we gave every snot-nosed kid a trophy just for showing up while shielding them from accountability/growth – from parents, teachers, and society at large.

Another hard truth: we don’t talk enough about how a lack of structure at home often leads directly to cycles of assaults. Too many parents are terrified to enforce what no actually means – especially when it’s directed at their own children. These predators-in-training aren’t created overnight. They’re built over years of being told they can do no wrong. Every consequence dodged is a lesson learned: you are untouchable. And the result? Assault specialists who build victim resumes in plain sight – in high schools, on college campuses, in military barracks, corporate offices, and even in government buildings.

How does it keep happening? Family cover-ups. Payoffs. The refusal to believe their “promising” son could be a monster. Prominent families willing to sacrifice strangers before their own name. They don’t correct – they conceal. And when the smoke finally clears and the truth is no longer containable, they pivot to sympathy. “He’s changed.” “He was young.” “It was just a mistake.” No. It was a lesson unlearned because accountability was avoided.

Today, exploitation is being dressed up as empowerment – with some women bragging about sleeping with married men, showing up to work in what used to be considered undergarments, and some accusing men of harassment for simply noticing. Or the silence when it comes to manipulative behaviors, weaponized disappointments as trauma, and selective storytelling to extort finances and some derailing careers. Too many young women are being taught to misuse their pain and rewrite reality for convenience or clout. Take away the handful of men treating women like conquests, doesn’t mean it benefits women treating themselves and others like products on a clearance shelf; while stating independent woman.

Many women of the past fought tooth and nail to break through boardroom doors once locked by white male gatekeepers. Today, many of those boardrooms are being reshaped to resemble bed rooms with intimate apparel as business attire – not because of liberation but because too many have interchanged shock value with strength. And please, tell me: what man is walking into a corporate job in his underwear demanding that his private parts (on full display) not be sexualized?

We in society have went so far from integrity that any criticism is now labeled hate. But some truths aren’t pretty – they’re just necessary. This isn’t about shaming. It’s about re-centering. The freedom to choose doesn’t absolve the responsibility to think, reflect, and respect yourself and others; because there’s always a young innocent eye looking and learning from us.

These are the seeds that grew into the current crop of “untouchables.” The ones who believe consequences don’t apply to them. The ones who riot over masks, cry about border protection, and worship at the altars of a Ben Shapiro, Laura Ingraham, and Bill Maher – examples of people who rip apart anyone who doesn’t look like them but never inspects their own stench. Not forgetting that America has twice chosen a repeat convicted felon to represent its core values. Shows a lot for credibility.

We’ve watched unchecked kids turn into mass shooters. Boys told they were kings, denied nothing, raised in isolation with too much privacy, who picked up a weapon after a few rejections. Yet, no one asks where the parents were when the warning signs screamed through the walls.

Then those who have experienced struggle – immigrant families, marginalized communities – often become complicit in the same hypocrisy. Example, too many foreigners arrive in the U.S. and immediately join the bigotry bandwagon. Why? Because even if they were poor or overlooked in their home countries, here, they’ll never be treated worse than Black Americans. That’s the dark, unspoken currency of racism in this country.

Meanwhile, people scream about protecting borders – but not when the immigrants are European, Irish, East Indian, or Asian. Equality has always been a marketing slogan in America, not a true goal. Because those sitting in the seat of generational benefits never desired a level playing field. Equality requires giving something up – power, privilege, space – and few are willing.

The results of these double standards are everywhere. Some of us are carrying the burden of generations of failed parenting. And what’s worse, those who once struggled – who know what disrespect and discrimination feels like – often turn around and cheer when others suffer the same. As if pain builds equity. As if repeating the cycle makes us whole.

We need to stop thinking poor parenting is a private matter. It’s not. It’s a public crisis – bleeding into our schools, our streets, our politics, and our collective mental health. We don’t need more trophies or time-outs. We need honesty, consequences, and a long-overdue reality checks.

“It’s time to stop normalizing bad choices and start confronting the lies we pass on as love. If this article shook you, share it – because silence isn’t neutrality, it’s permission.”

How do you believe everyone getting participation trophies has affected today’s children and adults?

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Comments

One response to “The Cost of Modern Parenting Failures”

  1. Meliza Hardeman Avatar
    Meliza Hardeman

    It’s affecting them in not being able to face failure. I heard some family member telling me about how they do their kid’s homework when they get overwhelmed… Thinking this is helping them? When they will have a job and won’t be able to finish their project before deadlines, mom is going to come in to help?

    I also witnessed a mom being constantly disrespected by her son since being a toddler. If she was to say “No” to him, “No I don’t want to eat the gummy you are giving me”, or “No I don’t want you to sit on me while I am eating” (when the kid is 10) just as example amongst many, and she thinks this kid will respect no, when a little girl he likes will not want to participate in his plan? This is a form of abuse, and he will not stop with mom.

    but Hey, I don’t have kids so I can’t say anything right? Like, as an adult, I am not able to detect actions that will cause problem later…

    “We need to stop thinking poor parenting is a private matter. It’s not. It’s a public crisis – bleeding into our schools, our streets, our politics, and our collective mental health.” THIS IS SOOOO WELL SAID!! We are paying the price for all this bad parenting daily, that we choose to have kids or not, that we have a say or not on our F&F parenting, we have the consequences.

    I have an acquaintance, who tried to have kids for years, with different partners, blaming them for it not working, then when she finally got the kid at 42, she finds any reasons to have someone else, anyone, to take care of that kid. From putting sunscreen on her 4yr old, to cut her food, to have the kids of her friends still kids themselves but with quite a age gap, to babysit her child as soon as they are visiting. Remind me, why did you wanted a kid again??

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