“Stop Telling Me to ‘Love You as You Are’ When You Don’t”

Surgery, filters, fake fitness results, child safety hypocrisy – and the brutal truth about why authenticity is going extinct.

We hear it all the time in this modern age of contradictions: “Accept me as I am.” Sounds nice, right? Noble even. The problem is… what if the person saying it hasn’t even accepted themselves? What if, deep down, they don’t even like themselves?

Let’s be real – the multi-billion-dollar makeup industry isn’t thriving because the population is brimming with self-confidence. Victoria’s Secret isn’t scaling back their push-up bras, and Spanx sales aren’t plummeting because women everywhere woke up deciding to embrace their natural bodies. The aisles full of hair extensions, contour kits, fake nails, and sky-high heels aren’t monuments to self-acceptance – they’re evidence of how far we’ll go to become someone else.

Then there’s the surgery boom. We’re not just talking a little filler here and there – we’re talking people so desperate to transform themselves that they’ll risk their lives in the hands of unlicensed “professionals” working out of closets or motel rooms. Buy one get one breast augmentations. Discounted BBLs in third-world countries. It’s not self-love: it’s desperation with a payment plan.

Sure, a small number of men get work done, but their numbers pale in comparison to the endless line of women going under the knife. And yet – here’s the kicker – some of the same voices crying “Love me for who I am” are also asking, “Where are all the good men at?” Maybe they’re looking for authenticity – someone who doesn’t come with an instruction manual for upkeep every 5-10 years.

And while we’re here, enough of blaming men for “sexualizing women” when time and again, women do it to themselves. Studies and surveys with men – both young and older – consistently show that 9 out of 10 prefer natural women. Not just in terms of avoiding surgery but also avoiding the excessive, caked-on makeup that creates an entire different (and fraudulent) face. And yet, that same makeup smears off onto people, clothes, and furniture that never asked to be part of the transformation. The truth? Women don’t get dolled up for men – they’re competing with other women. Men’s preferences often take a backseat to the arms race of lashes, lip fillers, and Instagram filters.

You can’t intentionally highlight your sexuality – plunging necklines, painted-on pants, see-through fabrics – and then cry foul when someone notices the very thing you’re advertising. No one can see your multiple degrees or professional titles hidden behind unlimited cleavage and bodycon dresses, all while claiming you’re shy or “saving yourself.” It’s like a lady-of-the-night claiming she’s waiting for marriage… after starring in a dozen adult films.

And while we’re talking double standards, let’s address one that’s rarely touched: child safety hypocrisy. We see it over and over – half-naked mothers posting twerking clips or near-sexual dances on social media, with their own kids in the background. How is it fair to that child to have their innocence stamped into a permanent video that will live online forever? But hey, at least Mom proved she “still got it,” right? And the worst part? Entire crowds of other women rush to defend her under the banner of empowerment. If that’s what empowerment looks like, maybe the definition needs an overhaul.

And here’s something even harder to swallow – the very same person who couldn’t stand their own reflection now has a child who looks exactly like the person they tried to erase. That’s when the grooming begins. I’ve seen it firsthand. When my beautiful daughter was only 10 years old, her mother’s family started making ignorant comments like, “You’d be so much prettier if you did…” or, “If you’ve got it, flaunt it.” I shut that down fast. I made it clear my job is to protect my daughter’s self-image and her innocence, and I warned them – loudly – that if they kept messing with her self-worth, I’d break them. Children deserve protection, not pressure to become someone else’s idea of “pretty” before they’ve even finished being kids.

Why does all this matter?

For starters, it’s called common decency. If you’re planning to have children, your partner deserves to know who you actually are. No one wants to be shocked when their baby comes out looking nothing like the “you” they met, but exactly like the person you paid thousands to erase. Look at some wealthy public figures – their kids aren’t “unlucky,” and they’re just genetic truth-tellers.

If you want the “butterfly effect” makeover, fine. I’m not telling you not to do it. I am telling you to own it – be honest about the upgrades, the upkeep, and the reality. Because when you’re demanding, “Accept me for who I am,” while being a walking patchwork of insecurities and surgical receipts, what you really mean is: “Accept the person I wish I was.”

And before we wrap this up, a quick shout-out to those greedy fake fitness influencers. You know the ones – telling followers to just “work harder” with “discipline and patience,” all while they’re slipping out the back door for their next round of lipo or a nip-n-tuck.

Here’s the truth: if you haven’t accepted you, don’t demand anyone else to. Self-acceptance starts with honesty – and that’s the one thing you can’t fake.

True beauty really is skin deep.

Would you trust a fitness trainer who obviously looks unhealthy? Would you trust a food recommendation from someone who clearly has digestive issues? Would you be upset if, after years in a relationship, you find out your partner has been a sex-worker?

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Comments

One response to ““Stop Telling Me to ‘Love You as You Are’ When You Don’t””

  1. Meliza Hardeman Avatar
    Meliza Hardeman

    Authenticity has been proven to be the highest vibration, yet, most of the people claiming being at their highest self have been physically touched by an “angel needle or scalpel”, to changed who they are physically. That made very interesting conversation in the past…

    • If you dislike how you look, you might act in ways that hide parts of yourself. That weakens authenticity.
    • If you accept your appearance, you reduce inner conflict. That supports authentic behavior.

    Authenticity is about honesty in how you live, it’s self-acceptance, including appearance.

    Like

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