by Patrick Hardeman – In and Out of Darkness

Nature has always fascinated me. Not because it’s perfect, but because sometimes a tree demonstrates more wisdom than a room full of people.

Take a tree for example.

A tree doesn’t have social media. It doesn’t have a therapist. It doesn’t have motivational seminars. It doesn’t watch YouTube videos about becoming its best self.

Meanwhile, many people remain stuck in the same cycles, the same habits, the same relationships, and the same excuses.

That got me thinking.

Why do trees thrive while people struggle?

Let’s start with something many people never stop to think about.

Why is Fall called Fall?

Simple.

Because leaves fall from trees.

I know. Mind-blowing stuff. Next, I’ll explain why rain is called rain.

But here’s the more important question:

Why do leaves fall from trees in the first place?

The answer is surprisingly profound.

Throughout spring and summer, leaves are essential to a tree’s survival. They absorb sunlight and help create the energy the tree needs to grow. The leaves literally help sustain the tree during its most productive season.

But when winter approaches, everything changes.

Those same leaves that once gave life become a liability.

If the tree keeps them through the harsh winter months, they can drain resources, increase stress on branches, and make survival more difficult.

So the tree does something remarkable.

It lets go.

No debate.

No emotional attachment.

No speeches about loyalty.

No social media post announcing, “I’ve decided to set boundaries with my leaves.”

The tree simply recognizes that what served one season may become harmful in the next.

And then it releases it.

Every year.

Without fail.

Yet people often do the exact opposite.

We hold on to relationships that drain us.

We cling to habits that hurt us.

We defend mindsets that no longer serve us.

We remain attached to situations that have been taking from us for years while wondering why we’re exhausted.

Then we complain about the very things we refuse to release.

“This person stresses me out.”

“This situation is ruining my peace.”

“I’m emotionally drained.”

Maybe.

But who told you to keep carrying it?

At some point, accountability has to enter the conversation.

Not every struggle is your fault.

Not every hardship is self-inflicted.

Life can be unfair. People can be selfish. Circumstances can be brutal.

But there comes a moment when continuing to tolerate what is harming you becomes a choice.

And choices have consequences.

One of the strange badges of honor people wear today is loyalty.

Now don’t misunderstand me.

Loyalty is valuable.

But loyalty without wisdom becomes self-destruction.

Some people proudly announce they’ve stayed loyal until the wheels fell off.

My question is:

Why did you wait for the wheels to fall off?

A mechanic doesn’t get extra credit for driving a car into a ditch before admitting it needs repairs.

The same principle applies to life.

Sometimes growth requires letting go.

Not because something was always bad.

Not because every memory was toxic.

Not because every season was painful.

Sometimes you let go because the season has changed.

The leaves were useful then.

They are harmful now.

The tree understands this.

Do we?

Growth is not simply gaining new things.

Growth is awareness.

Growth is healing.

Growth is accepting uncomfortable truths.

Growth is shedding the excuses that keep us connected to dysfunction.

Most importantly, growth is recognizing that familiarity and health are not the same thing.

Just because something feels familiar doesn’t mean it belongs in your future.

The tree doesn’t hate its leaves.

It simply understands they cannot come where it’s going.

Maybe that’s the lesson.

There are people, habits, mindsets, excuses, and even worse versions of ourselves that helped us survive one season.

But survival is not the same as growth.

Eventually, if we’re going to thrive, we have to release what no longer serves us.

Nature figured that out a long time ago.

The question is:

When will we?

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